Crash and Burn
by Konie
Summary: Told in the pov of Ami-chan, this songfic tells of Makoto after the death of her sempai. (AU, mild swearing...)


"Crash and Burn"  
A Sailor Moon songfic  
By: Koneko  
Email C&C to rhiannon02@yahoo.com  
  
Anything in # is the song lyrics!  
  
  
This is for Ames, who introduced me to Savage Garden, and told me that I wasn't alone,  
and that she'd always be there to help me.  
Also, for Heather, ^my Mako-chan. For the situation, and the opportunity to write what  
I've been meaning to say for a while now. Y'all should recognize this situation, in a   
metaphorical way.  
I love you both, and thank you, for being there for me, and encouraging me to be the   
best there is! (Even better than you! J/k!)  
Without further ado,  
  
"Crash and Burn"  
  
"Ya know, Mako-chan, there are other guys in the world…" I said, trying to be of some   
comfort.  
"I know, Ami-chan, but he was my first love, and there will never be any replacement for  
that."  
"But do you need to torture yourself thinking about him constantly? You are a very bright  
and pretty girl! You can function without him!" I said, trying to convince her of her own  
attributes, she is the most beautiful person that I've ever known! She's so kind, and   
she has a truly noble soul, but she can't find relief from the sadness, caused by her   
sempai.  
  
#When you feel all alone…#  
  
"No, Ami-chan…I can't! I need him! But he's gone, dead…" she sobbed, and walked   
slowly away. I wanted to go after her, but something held me back. She needed to  
figure this out on her own.  
  
#And the world has turned its back on you…#  
  
"Why don't they understand?" Mako asked to the thin air. "Why? Don't they realize   
that I loved him?! Loved! I don't know how I'll be able to go on without him… even  
though I had to leave him, to move, I never stopped loving him…" Tears ran down her  
face freely, freezing in the air before they hit the ground.   
  
#Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart…#  
  
"Dammit… I was supposed to be protector of people…and I couldn't protect him, the   
boy I love!"   
  
#I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you,  
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold,  
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore…#  
  
"Sheesh…why do I keep torturing myself re-living it in my head? I've got to be crazy…"   
Mako uttered to herself.  
  
_)_(_)_(_)_(  
  
"Mercury! You need to freeze the youma!" Jupiter yelled, trying to hold it back. This   
time, the monstrosity was made from a computer mouse, with the cord turned into a   
whip.  
"Right!" She called, "Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"  
As soon as the swirling ice had surrounded the youma, all the senshi cast their glances  
towards Sailors Moon and Chibi Moon.   
"What?" the mother and daughter team answered back, in unison of course.  
"Baka Usagis! Kill the youma!" Mars nearly screamed back to them.   
"Oh… right!" Sailor Moon said, understanding her duty. "Chibi Moon, call Pegasus!"  
"Alright!" Chibi Moon fuddled around with her skirt, and pulling it up, she pulled out the  
Crystal Bell. "Twinkle Yell!"  
After this was said, the youma had broken free of Mercury's ice.   
"Moon Gorgeous…" Usagi started, then realized the youma had run away.  
"Shimatta! We need to get it back!" Mars yelled, "Mercury, track it on your computer!"  
"Already on it!" Mercury affirmed, pinching her earring. "I don't have a lock on it yet, it's  
moving too quickly!"  
"Then we need to chase it on foot!" Jupiter yelled, running after it.  
"Wait!" Mercury, Mars, Venus, and both Moons called. They shrugged, glanced at  
each other and ran after their comrade.  
"Stupid freaking monster… why'd you have to break through Merc-chan's ice? You're  
making this a whole lot harder than it has to be!" Jupiter screamed after the youma,   
catching sight of it.   
Making a quick turn, the youma ran into a populated street.   
"Oh, come on!" Jupiter griped to the youma, "Make it easy for me and stop!"   
Much to her surprise, it did.   
"What the hell?" She breathed, confused by her enemy's action.  
Then, it went after its target, a boy. He looked like he was around high school age.   
"Sempai!" Jupiter yelled, trying to get the boy's attention. It did, and he turned to find  
the source of the outburst. Instead, he came face to face with a giant computer mouse.   
"Makoto-san? Is that you I heard? What's going on?" he asked, trying to dodge the  
whip of the youma. He jumped around to try and find some relief, but he tripped and  
ended up as target practice for whip-happy mouse thing. Blow after blow was dealt  
to "sempai", and eventually he lost conscience.  
"Hold on! I'll get you out of there! Jupiter Oak Evolution!" Her attack stopped the  
youma in its tracks, but not after sempai had stopped breathing.  
"I'll help you, Jupiter! Moon Gorgeous Meditation!" Sailor Moon yelled, destroying  
the youma.  
"Sempai!" Jupiter screamed as she ran over to her former boyfriend. After a check  
by Mercury, he was pronounced dead.  
  
_)()_()_)()_()_()_()_()_()_()_  
  
"Mako-chan. Why can't you let anyone help you? It's not like we're strangers, we're  
practically family, Mako-chan!" I said, confused and hurt. "Doesn't she trust me?"  
  
#Let me be the one you call…  
If you jump, I'll break your fall…#  
  
"Please, God," I prayed, "Don't let me lose her… I love her so much, I need her, and I  
think that she needs me right now, let me help her!"  
  
#Lift you up and fly away with you into the night,  
If you need to fall apart,  
I can mend a broken heart,  
If you need to crash then crash and burn,  
You're not alone…#  
  
"Mako-chan… we all have suffered, because of our destiny, but that doesn't mean that  
we don't need each other! Because of our destinies, we need each other more!"   
I sobbed, hoping that she'd hear me, perhaps God would help…  
Perhaps He'd help me, to help her.  
  
#When you feel all alone,   
And a loyal friend is hard to find,  
You're caught in a one way street,  
With the monsters in your head,  
When hopes and dreams are far away and,  
You feel like you can't face the day…#  
  
Makoto continued to walk down the sidewalk, never stopping, just walking. "Why did  
things have to be like this? Is He trying to punish me for something I did?" She turned  
her gaze to the star-lit sky, raising her hands above her head, she pleaded, "What   
did I do, Kami-sama? What did I do to deserve this?"  
  
#Let me be the one you call…#  
  
I sobbed, pleaded, prayed, everything I could think of to somehow help my  
"onee-chan", and NOTHING worked! I did everything I could think of, until my   
communicator started buzzing at me.   
  
#If you jump, I'll break your fall…#  
  
"Ami here."  
"Ami-chan… what did I do to deserve this?" Mako-chan cried, tears falling down her  
face.  
"Nothing, except care too much." I answered her question, "Do you want to come   
over, and we'll talk about it?"  
  
#Lift you up and fly away with you into the night,  
If you need to fall apart,  
I can mend a broken heart…#  
  
"Alright, Ami-chan… then I suggest you open your door. It's cold out here." She said,  
closing the link.  
Curious, I walked to the door, and after opening it, lo and behold, there was my   
Mako-chan!  
"I'm sorry to be so much trouble to you. I just need some company right now. Maybe  
not conversation, but company." She said, smiling weakly.  
"No need for explanations, if you ever want to talk, I'll always be here to listen." I said,  
leading her inside to the warmth of my fireplace. "Here, take a seat." I motioned  
towards a cushion in front of the fire.  
"Thank you."  
  
#If you need to crash then crash and burn,  
You're not alone…#  
  
"You know, Mako-chan, I'm always willing to listen. We all have had hard times."  
  
Mako-chan simply sat there, staring at the fire. She's been around Rei-chan too  
much lately.  
  
#Because there has always been heartache and pain,  
And when it's over you'll breathe again,  
You'll breathe again…#  
  
"It just feels like no one cares. None of the other Senshi have even asked me about it."  
Mako said, still staring at the fire.  
"They feel like they can't really help, no matter how much they may try. You are the  
person who always helps them, and they don't quite know how to help you back."  
"They've never had to deal with this kinda of thing before, have they? They've never  
seen the person they love die, in front of their eyes." She said, eerily calm.  
"Usagi-chan has. She's had Mamoru-san die before."  
"But he came back to life. Sempai won't."  
"What makes him so special? Would you kill yourself to be with him? Do you love  
him that much?"  
"Suicide? No, I couldn't do that. It'd hurt my family too much, imouto-chan."  
"Then let us help you through it. Please." I said, grasping her hand in mine, "Let me  
help."  
"Ami-chan?"  
"I may not know how, but show me what I can do to help you! I'll do my very best!  
The Makoto that has been moping around for the past week is not my Makoto!   
There's a part of you that's missing! I don't like seeing you like this, onee-chan!   
I hate seeing you like this! So let me help you!"  
"Ami-chan, is that you in there? I've never seen you this aggressive, and it's scaring  
me," she said, trying to break our met gaze.  
"Yes, it's me in here, and I'm aggressive because you aren't right now, so I'm taking  
over." I said, pulling her into a quick hug.  
  
#When you feel all alone,  
And the world has turned its back on you…#  
  
"Ami-chan, all I need right now is someone to listen to me, I think. Or perhaps just  
a person who's there, not an in-your-face-so-take-it-or-leave-it-Ami-chan. Do you  
understand, Ami-chan?"  
"I think so, Mako-chan, but be sure to let me help you."  
  
#Give me a moment please,  
To tame your wild, wild heart…#  
  
"I don't know if I want help yet… just stay away from me, Ami-chan." Makoto said,  
getting up and stalking out the door.  
  
"Please… Mako-chan"  
  
#Let me be the one you call,  
If you jump, I'll break your fall…#  
  
"Don't leave," I said, reaching out to her. Why wouldn't she let me help her? Doesn't  
she know that I'd do anything to help her? Anything? I'd go to Hell and come back, I'd  
swim around the world, and I'd even eat tuna! Anything, to see her happy again. I just  
want my Mako back…  
  
"Ami-chan, I just can't… it's too early for me to be done suffering…" she said, glancing  
back once before going out the door, closing it behind her.  
  
"Then at least let me suffer with you!" I yelled to the closed door, perhaps she'd hear,  
and maybe she wouldn't… but at least I said it.  
  
#Lift you up a fly away with you into the night…#  
  
I'd been meaning to say that for a long time. When my friends, family, suffer, I do too,  
whether they want or mean for me to. It's just a natural response, I guess. I love them  
too much to let them suffer alone, so I try to share the burden. Everyone usually pours  
their hearts out to me, but Mako… she never has. She always helps others before  
herself, even when she needs it most. At least, that's my observation.   
  
#If you need to fall apart,  
I can mend a broken heart…#  
  
As I was about to go to bed, and pray some more, I heard a slight knocking on the door.  
"Yes, Mako?"  
"You'd really do that?" she asked, hesitantly, "I mean, suffer along with me?"  
Opening the door, I looked up at her face, "I already am, Mako-chan."  
  
#If you need to crash, then crash and burn…#  
  
"Why?" she asked, stepping inside, just enough so I could close the door to the evil,  
evil cold.  
  
"Because, you're my big sister, Mako-chan. I love you. I hate to see you hurt.  
I need to be able to do something, and if I can't help, then I just suffer along with you."  
  
"You care for me that much?"  
  
"Of course!" I said, reaching up and kissing her forehead. "I care for you,   
and all of my friends, more than I care for myself! If one of my friends is in trouble,  
I am too."  
  
#You're not alone…#  
  
"I couldn't stand the thought of you suffering too… So I guess I'm going to need to  
let you help me," she said, grinning slightly. She winked at me, some of the old  
Mako returning. "I love you too, imouto-chan."  
  
! @! @! @! @!  
Japanese glossary:  
  
Sempai = upper class man  
Youma = monster  
Baka = idiot, silly  
Shimatta = darn  
Kami-sama = God  
Imouto-chan = little sister (friendly, affectionate way of saying it)  
Onee-chan = big sister  
  
Crash and Burn is by D. Hayes and D. Jones, of Savage Garden fame, and it's off  
of their album "Affirmation". The song belongs to them, and in NO way me.  
All the Sailor Senshi and their alter egos belong to Takeuchi Naoko-hime. I wish  
they belonged to me.  
Situation and story idea belong to me. Only me. YEAHY! I actually DID something! 


End file.
